Yes, it’s true. I’m going “green”. I’m not a hippy. Don’t start getting any funny ideas. I know we need wood to build houses, and that; but I can’t help but think of all of the recyclables I throw away. Glass bottles, plastic bottles, plastic bags, cardboard, paper…Yep…I’m going to get recycling bins. Lord knows where I’ll put them, but I feel pretty determined. I can’t help but thinking, in some way, that my efforts are futile. There’s so many people. There’s so many people who’re unwilling to do a few little things that may or may not make a difference.
It may all be in vain anyways. Who knows? The earth could be hit by an asteroid tomorrow. Maybe global warming, despite what we’ve been told, could happen within about 10 minutes or so. Anyways, I’m feeling guilty about throwing away all the things that perfectly things could be made of. I will never…you hear me???…NEVER hug a tree (probably).
As I make a shift from loving nature, to beating the crap out of it…I’m lead to my next subject.
You may or may not be aware that I have some sort of a ridiculous “disease” called Graves Disease. This disorder causes my thyroid to overproduce the thyroid hormone; which, in turn makes me completely psychologically unstable. Welllllllll….I took some sort of radioactive iodine treatment to “ablate” my thyroid gland about 8 weeks ago. I went in to have some blood work done last week, and found out that I am now severely HYPOthyroidism (which is the opposite of hyperthyroidism). Well, this causes extreme fatigue. I could sleep 24 hours per day.
I was awakened this morning at about 10:00, because of a horn honking at the next door neighbor’s house. For a LONG time. That has to be about the most annoying thing in the world. Finally, ANOTHER vehicle comes and starts honking (unbeknown to me, it was the elderly neighbor two houses down from me in the neighbor’s drive; where all the honking was coming from). By this time I was livid, and leaned out the front door and shouted, “They aren’t HOME!”.
He left their driveway and came into mine to explain that my dear neighbors evil dog had gotten out of the fence and was biting them, and wouldn’t let them out of their house or out of the car. This dog is a pit bull/siberian husky mix. A few months ago, he would come to the fence barking, and if I jumped at him, he’d tuck tail and run the other way. The dog is obviously a little more confident now.
This enraged me even more. There were a couple of reasons; 1) the honking 2) the neighbor not answering the door 3) and finally, that evil dog running around biting people.
I grabbed the fire poker (heavy) in my right hand, and a broomstick in the other and went over to get the devil dog back into his pen. I went over to talk to the neighbors who’d been bitten, and they sternly warned me that the dog would bite me. I did my best to comfort them; after all, I did have a peacemaker in my hand.
I turned and began to walk over to the gate and opened it up so I could run the evil animal back into their yard. I got almost to the gate when I hear them yelling, telling me that I’m about to be bitten. I stopped, and raised my poker, and the dog stopped. I turned back around to go to the gate, and immediately heard more warnings. As I turned around, the dog was actually in attack mode. I swung that heavy fire tool with about as much force as I could muster; connecting right in the side of the monster’s ugly head. He yelped, and headed back onto the OTHER neighbor’s porch AGAIN. From their porch, he jumped back over his fence, and into the correct yard.
That dog MUST be missing teeth. I’m glad. I will beat down a mean dog in a second.
Be good, kids.
-Beans™
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