Why does the blog titled ““A guy and a girl can be just friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other…Maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever” -Dave Matthews” get so many views? or…. Rich Santos is a silly man.

I’m doing a little test here.  The blog titled

“A guy and a girl can be just friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other…Maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever” -Dave Matthews

, that used to be on my page got more views than any of my other blogs. I’m not sure if it’s because of the content of the blog, the tags, category, or because of the title.

My life is sure changing. I’m not going to get into it all, obviously, but it’s good. My drinking has slowed a lot. I don’t smoke weed that often anymore. I plan on stopping those things completely.  Sometimes you just get tired of being fucked up all the time. I never thought I’d be saying that. But here I am. I may have to use religion to do that. I may have to lie to myself for awhile.  But it’s a pretty damn good trade, if you ask me.

The other day in the shower I was blowing my nose and washing the boogers and snot down the drain. So I started thinking about nose blowing. I’m sure people have always blown their noses. But….back in the day, they didn’t have kleenexes. If you go back far enough, people didn’t even have handkerchiefs. I have surmised that if you go back a few hundred years, people just did the “snot rocket” form of nose blowing. That’s awesome.

Speaking of boogers; hands down, the best place to put a booger after plucking it from your nose, is the bottom of your shoe. Just don’t do it at a buffet. Please.

I ran across a news article titled “9 signs he’s cheating on you”. I wanted to know how to know if he’s cheating on you. I don’t know the rules about how to legally cite a different author in a blog, but I just copy and pasted this right off of the “MSN: Lifestyle” page:

“1. Less Sex
Unless he’s Superman, he can only have so much sex. So, if he’s getting it from another source, you might notice. Whether it’s another woman or a porn addiction — even if he’s not cheating — a decrease in sex signals serious issues in the relationship.

2. Jumpy Cell Phone Habits
In a perfect world, we’d be open about sharing our correspondence with our significant others. Most of the time, we trust that we don’t have to worry about who is texting or calling them. But, if you notice that he is getting protective and/or nervous when he gets calls or texts, it may be cause for alarm.

3. Gushing or Talking About Someone Suddenly
You know that exhilarating feeling you get when you meet someone new and exciting? You want to tell the world about him. One of my exes began talking about a guy a lot near the end of our relationship — he just always seemed to be at her social gatherings that I didn’t happen to attend. Sure enough, after she dumped me, she began dating him.

4. Disconnecting
Even though relationships ebb and flow naturally, if you’re sensing that he’s drawing away from you, then there may be someone else. Emotional disconnection should be investigated regardless of whether it’s caused by cheating. There’s a problem if he’s not laughing or seeming as passionate as usual. It’s hard to spread love/passion between two people, so the person who used to have it will feel it slipping away if it’s being given to someone else.

5. He’s Pulling “Houdinis”
If he’s disappearing, traveling, or unavailable to the point where you are starting to wonder, then he could be cheating. Also, these times tend to take on a pattern because it’s tough to synch up schedules, especially in secret.

6. His Friends Are Acting Strange
His friends will certainly remain loyal to him in most cases. They will not let you know what’s going on, but they will definitely be racked with guilt, and their behavior may change slightly when they are around you while protecting his secret.

7. He’s Being Caught in Lies About Other Things
If you catch him in a lie, your trust will naturally be damaged. Don’t hold a grudge — forgiveness is a good thing. You can forgive, but don’t forget. If he consistently breaches your trust, it’s establishing a pattern of behavior that leads to cheating. Do yourself a favor: If he keeps lying, whether these lies are big or small, get out while you can and don’t let him talk his way back in.

8. Been There, Done That
I always say: “Once a cheater, always a cheater.” If he’s done it before, he’s definitely capable of doing it again. It has nothing to do with you, which is why you can’t say that he cheated on his previous lover because she didn’t keep him happy. Cheating is a self-serving act in which the cheater doesn’t take his significant other into consideration. If someone is upfront with you that he’s made mistakes in the past, maybe give them a chance –— but make it a long probationary period before you let your guard down.

9. Your Gut Tells You So
Don’t ignore your sixth sense. People are gifted at sensing when something doesn’t feel right. Whether there are red flags in your relationship that are clueing you in or not, if something feels off, don’t ignore this feeling. Usually that suspicion is correct, and something intangible may have led to you figuring it all out.
Rich Santos finds charm in stupidity and campiness in movies, celebs and life. He currently resides in New York City where some day he hopes to fall in love. Until then, he is happy to share his failures and successes with the readers of Marie Claire.”

You know…he could be cheating on you, or he might be sick of you. Or both.

You know, with the whole life change thing…should I drop this blog? Should I start a new one? Should I just quit? You bastards aren’t going to comment and answer, so I’m basically talking to myself. I wish you’d just comment and at least say “Here”. I’d like to know how you came across my blog, too. But hell, I can’t even get you to push the comment button, and type the word “Here”.

Bye bye,

Uncle Beans

Got you (where I want you.) -The Flys

Paramore sings this song that says something like, “I don’t mean to brag…but I’ve got him where I want him now.”  The name of the song is Misery Business…which I find glaringly appropriate.

How many times have you said, or at least thought…”One of these days he (or she) is going to come crawling back to me, and I am going to say ‘fuck off’, and it is going to feel sooooo good.” Well, it doesn’t. Telling someone you used to care about to get lost doesn’t feel good at all.

Now, I refuse to prolificate this opinion of mine until it I start to believe that it is true in all situations. I can imagine there have been times that the person saying ‘fuck off’ has enjoyed it to no end. But, if that is the case, then two things could be true. Either the “fucker” has lost all care for the “fuckee”, and now actually hates them, OR they are a cold-hearted snake. (Oh, Beans…that was for you.) But, if you even have a memory of a good time or have any feeling at all left in your heart…then ‘fuck off’ comes out a whole lot more like ‘It would be best if you left me alone’…paired with a few tears for what you wish you still had with the person.

Granted, isn’t this a small victory in itself? When you can look at the person you cared so much about and calmly make decisions that are the best for you? Maybe that is maturity at it’s finest…when we make hard decisions without all the whining and crying and the thinking “if only”.  You may have that person right where you want them, right where you could hurt them, right where YOU have the upper hand. However, if in that moment, when you have all of that power, you decide that kindness wins out over your need to revenge heartbreak…you should be proud. You have healed yourself without harm to others…which is so unusual in this world.

I got an email today from a friend that goes to the college I used to attend. She says I’m a legend there for punching a guy in the face. She even told me who I hit…the rumor was strangely accurate. Anyway, I said that to say this: Girls, there are times when you have to say ‘fuck off’ and walk away. And if they touch you…punch them in their face. It works, trust me.

-Mary Jane